#10 Considering Ethanol - Saturated Literature

Saturated Literature - a brief review

THE PARIS WIFE by Paula McLain - historical fiction, a very well-researched and written piece spoken in first person by/about Hemingway's first wife.

In my fresh state as a non-ethanol-drinking person raised in the same kind of drinking culture as the "lost generation" after WWI that evolved to the "Mad Men" culture post WII, I gotta say - any of us who have consciously decided to put ethanol behind us in the face of such strong cultural and societal mythology and conditioning - that's still going strong in the new "wine and brew" culture - deserve major kudos.  
There is booze on every page of this book, morning noon and night. Ethanol consumption created much of the drama F Scott Fitzgerald and Ernest Hemingway, Ezra Pound, Gertrude Stein, all those writers we ADMIRE wrote about. Ernest even says about one guy how he doesn't trust a man who doesn't drink. I've said that before myself.
If they hadn't all been shitfaced all the time, creating all this misunderstanding, daring and drama, and glamor, you've got to wonder how different our world might be. :-) You've got to wonder how differently-shaped our perception of creative genius and social acceptability might have been. 
So, If you want to "check in" and see just how well you're doing in seeing through all of the conditioning and myth, read this book, and say Wow! at every turn of the page. If you can get through it without the little monster trying to capitalize on all of those cues and urges and popular culture images and words, I think you can be confident that you've done it. Yipee! We free!

Copyright © Heidi Mayo All rights reserved

#7 Considering Ethanol - Living it Up

LIVING IT UP 

One of the biggest trends I notice in the two ethanol cessation communities I visit is that there's a lingering feeling of loss, of coping with the stress, of yearning, even grief, of stopping using ethanol to deaden senses and garner a feeling of belonging in a world totally brainwashed about its benefits. These communities offer great support and camaraderie, but also can unwittingly reinforce cultural myths about ethanol cessation.

We tend to feel this sense of loss because, even if we've been lucky and conscious enough to see through all of the illusions, society and the ethanol culture have put us in the position of outsiders. So, it is up to us to go boldly beyond the confines of popular myth into a new frontier of aware inclusion.

I don't use the words sober, sobriety, recovery or alcohol because these words promote preconceived notions and misconceptions about people who have been addicted to ethanol and have chosen to end that addiction.

As we all know, common popular beliefs keep certain people, whether drinking, not drinking, “relapsed” or “recovering” or anything in between in a segregated “us and them” divided society.

Oh, you don't drink? You must have a problem. I don't trust people who don't drink. Teetotalers are boring. I used to think these things, so I know what I'm up against.

Fact is, those of us who have decided not to drink anymore, no longer have that “problem.” Our only problem is navigating a convoluted paradoxical paradigm of disease mentality juxtaposed with warm and fuzzy, generations-deep heritage and propaganda that has trained us to believe we are missing out on something if we choose health and clarity over ethanol consumption.

And in reality, rather than being left out, we are experiencing the world more fully and with more awareness than we ever did as drinkers. We have stopped deadening our senses – we are actually more included than our drinking counterparts.

That said, we need to realize fully that we are not missing out on anything, and we need to take steps to live it up! Attitude really is everything when it comes to this business, and we need to celebrate the fact that we are clear headed and enjoying ourselves so much more fully than those around us who have chosen to become inebriated and disconnected in the name of fun.

For me, turning away from the habit of boozing and schmoozing with my husband every cocktail hour for decades was the biggest challenge. Could I schmooze without the booze? Would I be turned off by his smell of beer? Would I feel left out while he got his evening fix? Yada yada yada, the ego is a stupid animal that wants you to be unhappy and will find a thousand ways to create anxiety and drama that does not exist in the present moment. Be aware of this. It is the sole reason that you would ever experience dissatisfaction or that feeling of loss at not imbibing. It is false, and the first step toward living it up, is to realize this. When the ego barges in demanding your dissatisfaction, meet it with consciousness and clarity. When seen through, it doesn't stand a chance, and that's something to celebrate.

Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went, and I toasted with my mocktails, and I was so happy to enjoy the company and make the meals, play with my grandchildren, and wake up the next day feeling like a million bucks. What's not to celebrate? At every gathering there was at least one other person besides me who was a non-drinker of ethanol. We laughed and schmoozed smarter and better! Where ever did we get the idea we need a sense-deadening poison to celebrate life?

By stopping poisoning myself I am celebrating this life in every moment. I can taste flavors better than ever. Intimacy is more intimate. Connections are more connected. I hoist my mocktail to you in celebration. Live it up! Happy New Year!

Copyright © Heid Mayo All rights reserved

#6 Considering Ethanol - Switchflippers, anyone?

Switchflippers, anyone? (formerly Mocktails and Refreshments)

Lots of newbies here for the new year, so I thought it would be nice to share non-ethanol refreshment ideas.  Just because we've stopped drinking ethanol, doesn't mean we have to ignore cocktail time.  I'm living it up!

What better way to make fun diversion at cocktail time than to make mocktail concoctions? It's been a few months now, and I have watched my mocktail-making evolve from some pretty wild concoctions to a few go-to flavors that never fail.  I was a Bombay Gin drinker - on the rocks, nothing else - not sapphire, the queen's kind, so I like nusances of flavor in my drink.

I also love making up the names for them.

Most recipes I found online wanted a simple syrup of some sort, but the sugar was too much for me.

Best ingredients to always have on hand are: organic lemon juice, cayenne pepper, orange bitters, angostura bitters, apple cider, dry ginger beer, and seltzer water. I also really like this Kombucha Wonder Drink I get at the grocery store Traditional and Asian Pear are my favs. I dilute everything with seltzer.  

Also St. John's Wort tea has a somewhat bitter flavor and is very good at taking the edge off. Though I haven't tried it as a mocktail, it would probably make a good base.

I also like Fentiman's Dandelion & Burdock - botanially brewed, that I found at the health food store.  It's not too sweet and has complex flavor.

THE RECIPES

Here's a variation of one I found online called New England Buck. I call mine the Plymouth Rock:

1 shot juniper syrup (see recipe below)

1 shot lemon juice (fresh or organic)

a couple of hefty splashes of orange bitters (Fee Brothers is alcohol-free, but I like Regan's the best)

ginger beer (I like Reed's)

Combine all ingredients over ice except the ginger beer; stir or shake to mix it up, and pour into another glass (I don't strain, I just use the same ice.) Top off with Ginger Beer.  I garnish it with juniper berries as a nod to the old Bombay.

Juniper Sage syrup: I made this thinking it would have some Bombay-ish flavor.

In saucepan 1 cup water, 1/4-1/2 cup sugar (or if you like sugar make it a simple syrup base of 1:1), a small handful of sliced almonds and juniper berries each (I got them at the health food store), lemon peel of half a lemon, twist when adding, and about 8 fresh sage leaves torn in half. Bring to boil and simmer 5-10 minutes. Let cool, strain ( I add most of the juniper berries back in, so I have them as a garnish when I make a drink. Store in glass jar in the fridge.  This was my main mocktail the first week or so, and the preparation was a nice occupation at cocktail time.  Now I don't bother.

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The De-Cider

Pour over ice

3 parts apple cider

1 part lemon juice

a couple dashes of bitters

a healthy dash of cayenne pepper

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Lemon First Aid

Over ice throw a shot of lemon juice.

Same amount of Pacific almond milk unsweetened and a couple drops of almond exract

Stir it up, and add seltzer to taste

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The Placebo
In a nice rocks glass, pour over ice 4 parts soda, 1 part lemon juice. Add a dash of orange bitters and cayenne pepper. Garnish with lemon wedge.  I'd throw some Reed's ginger beer on this too.

Right now I'm having  

The KomGetcha (just made that up) half asian pear ginger kombucha, half seltzer with a splash of lemon juice and a dash of orange bitters.

Share your mocktail recipes.

Copyright © Heidi Mayo All rights reserved

#5 Considering Ethanol - Heidi's Helpful Hints

Heidi's Helpful Hints

There are these little life events that were repeated over and over, over the years, where familiar images and sensations were branded into our brains and bodies that have the potential to cause discomfort if not dealt with consciously and firmly. Over the first weeks of not drinking, I found a few ways to help soften any kind of irritation or discomfort brought about by breaking those old useless habits. And last night, when I went out to a nice restaurant and didn't drink ethanol for the first time in around 40 years. I found my own way to give a nod to my sensibilities while still sticking to my resolve.

Here are a few strategies I have found really helpful.

At cocktail time at home I make myself a mocktail that is not sweet and has a good bite to it. I notice that I crack the ice and refill it the same way I did with gin. I enjoy the process; I like drinking while schmoozing and making dinner the same way I always did, only now without the ethanol. So, with mocktail in hand, I don't feel bereft like I'm missing something or have “given up” anything. Ha ha, I just invented a new mocktail called The Placebo. In a nice rocks glass, pour over ice 4 parts soda, 1 part lemon juice. Add a dash of orange bitters and cayenne pepper. Garnish with lemon wedge.

At the restaurant, I asked for soda on the rocks with a splash of bitters and a lime. The waitress brought the soda in one of those big tall ugly glasses, and next round I asked for a rocks glass. For me, just holding the right kind of glass does the trick. I'll bet former wine drinkers would benefit by putting their NA drink in a wine glass during such occasions.

I have found St John's Wort tea is a great beverage to take the edge off if I'm feeling a little edgy especially after a busy day. If you want to remove the edge off the late afternoon/early evening changeover, it's good to have some St. John's Wort around 3 or 4:00. You can get it in capsules, too.

I also have a snack around then. I have a Coconut Almond Kind Bar and some Dr. Schulze's SuperFood with my St J's tea. Doing this makes it so you don't experience that low that you would have previously used ethanol to deal with.
And it goes without saying that staying hydrated really helps a lot.

Taking 20 minute silent meditation daily is really good. During the first few weeks I had to force myself to sit down for those minutes. Now I look forward to it; usually squeeze one in in the middle of the day. (I'd done a lot of meditating in the past, but it was always with some kind of an agenda, now I simply get quiet.) Lately, if it works out, I sneak upstairs and grab those 20 minutes around cocktail time, and it's amazing how good I feel. It's relaxing and energizing. I have this Better Back thing that is like being held while sitting. The 20 minutes fly by, and my very active mind is able to get really quiet now. Here's a good video called The No Bullshit Guide to Meditation. 

I have been making my diet more alkaline, eating more greens and such, making smoothies with carrots, beets, kale, spinach, ginger, apples, stuff like that. It feels good to be healthy.

Fresh air, sunshine and exercise go a long way in the feel good department. I always got out and ran or rowed even when totally debauched and hungover, but now it's even better, and my joy factor is greatly enhanced.

If you notice a sneaky little urge or feel the remnants of the old habit trying to push its way into action, it's really important to review the salient parts of whatever book or books you read. In fact, you can do preemptive review every few days, and nip any of that kind of thing in the bud.  I read the last bit of Allen Carr's Stop Drinking Now - quick and dirty reminders.  Yeah!  I'm a non-drinker!

Resistance does not work. I have learned that when a thought or urge arises, it is counterproductive to try to push it away or resist it. Allow it to be just as it is, and it passes just like any other thought. In Scott Kiloby's Natural Rest for Addiction, he recommends just sitting with the urge, and like any other thought or sensation, it dissolves.  I just blow the thought out with a quick puff of breath, like blowing out a candle. That saying, “What you resist persists” is true. Resistance makes it stickier.  The harder you try to not think of something, the stronger the thought becomes. The firmer and clearer you are in your resolve in the first place, the less power any of those thoughts have at the getgo.

Forum communities like This Naked Mind and Hello Sunday Morning are good support, too.  Keeps you in touch with like-minded peeps and adds a bit of accountability to your resolve.

Here's to ethanol-free happy holidays. Yipee, I'm free! (Just saying those words does wonders.)

Copyright © Heidi Mayo All rights reserved